Mama Tried....

I am always one to brag about how my mother is the BEST mother in the world, which is true... and factual... trust me. In honor of Mother's Day, I've decided to share just one of the stories that proves she is, indeed, the best.

As you all know, my name is Quana. I love my name. What I don't love is never being able to find anything with my name on it. When I was younger I was always on the hunt through the stand of gift shop and gas station key chains just hoping one would have my name on it, which of course never happened. As I got older, I got wiser. I was never going to find anything in a gas station or gift shop with my name printed on it. So I lowered my expectations and just started hunting for things with the letter 'Q' on them. Coffee mugs, stationary, anything! Everything went right from 'P' to 'R' like us Q's didn't even matter. 

My senior year of high school I finally got what I spent so many years searching for. Mom gave me a hot pink and lime green rug with a lower case 'q' on it. I was in heaven! Finally, something that represented my awesome name! I couldn't wait to take it to college in the fall. Until that time I put it up in my room and admired it daily. I remember asking my mom on several occasions where on earth she found that rug and she would always just shrug it off like it was no big deal. Um...hello!!! It was a huge deal!! I chalked her behavior up to modesty, but little did I know she was hiding something from me. *gasp* ( cue mystery theme music)

That fall I moved into my dorm (Abel 4th Floor!! Whoop Whoop!!) and decorated my room in hot pink and lime green with my amazing rug proudly at the center of it all. Everything was perfect for, like, two whole days. 

A couple days into my college adventure one of my friends innocently asked "why do you have a rug with a 'b' on it?" Hahaha silly girl. I explained it was a 'q'... like for Quana.... it was just lower case... my mom got it for me.... it's a big deal to find the letter "Q" on stuff!!! As I'm about to ask this girl how she got accepted into UNL considering she knew so little about the alphabet, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As I cocked my head a little to the side I saw it to. It was a 'b'. 

Now people like to say I'm "dramatic" or "irrational" which precisely explains my behavior in those following moments.

I call my mother immediately, in tears, and asked her if the rug was really a 'b' and not a 'q'. That's when she admitted the truth. She saw the rug and thought it was so cute and would match all my stuff but they didn't have a "Q" so she ordered a 'b' instead and just told me it was a 'q'. That tricky little fox.... :)

My mother has done so much for me over the years. But when I think about what she will do to show her love to me, this is always the memory that comes to mind. The things a mother will do to make her child happy are truly endless. 

Thanks for 29 years of unconditional love Mom. And thank you for teaching me that life is all about perspective. Sometimes you just have to look at things from a different angle. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there!

Those "Querky" Things About Me.....

1.  Yes, I am well aware that in my blog title "Quana's Querky Adventures" that I misspelled quirky.  After countless facebook messages, texts and emails from people pointing out this error, I thought that I should share why I spelled it the way I did.  I spelled quirky wrong as a joke, a joke that NO ONE got... go figure.  In every one of my blogs I can point out areas that have spelling errors and horrible grammar.  I don't let it get me down too much because I am not a writer and never claimed to be.  So I thought it would be funny to just throw an error right in my blog title.  I know, not funny... but hey, now you know.  :)

2.  I am a horrible joke teller.  I don't know what it is.  I hear a joke, I think it is funny, I listen hard and pay attention so that I can tell it to others, I practice privately and it goes fairly smoothly, and then I go to tell it in public and everything goes haywire.  I am like the dad on "Finding Nemo."

3.  I hate feet.  I cant have other peoples feet touch me.  I barely like my own.

4.  I am not a huge fan of public bathrooms.  No surprise there, I cant name a single person who gets excited to use a public restroom.  But there is one thing about a public bathroom that gets me down more than anything.  Its when you go to sit down and the toilet seat is warm.  Yuck!!  It means whoever was there before me sat there for a quite a while, and it just creeps me out.  Warm toilet seats, no bueno.

5.  I am insanely jealous of Ina Garten.  She taught herself with no formal training, she makes everything she does look so easy, and she is always hosting amazing parties for these amazing people!  Hosting parties in the Hampton's and being filmed and paid for it is just amazing to me.

6.  I can't eat jawbreakers.  I truly believe I will either break a tooth or choke to death.

7.  I was 25 years old before I realized that Dumbo's mom didn't die in the movie.  I hadn't watched it since I was little because it would make me go into this hysterical cry .  Just picture the scene where she is swinging Dumbo on her trunk and "Baby Mine" is playing, I am tearing up right now thinking about it.  I just knew this was a movie that I couldn't watch because it made me so sad!  It wasn't until I was 25 when a good friend called me all sorts of excited and yelled into the phone "Dumbo's mom doesn't die! Dumbo's mom doesn't die!"  I was like... yes huh!  He said that he was watching it with his kids and Dumbo's mom comes back in the end.  So I watched the movie that night and she does!!!  I am a sucker for a happy ending.

8.  I never look at the clock in the morning, I know what time it is by what is on KBRX, our local radio station here in O'Neill.  I know that if I am not out of the shower by the 7 am ABC News Report that I need to kick it in the rear.  I know I need to have my make up done by the end of the Huckabee Report, and if I am not out of the door by the time the birthday club starts, I am not going to be able to stop and get coffee before work.  I know what day it is by which guest they have on the radio that morning.  And if I need a pick me up I can always Facebook Scott and see if he has any time to play me a little Kenny Chesney. 

9.  I cry at Folger's commercials.

10.  When it comes to technology, I am just not the brightest crayon in the box.  I don't know what it is, but it is like I am not part of my generation.  I usually ponder something for at least a few days before I remember that I can just Google it.  I don't see this improving at any point in my life either.


Feel free to share some quirky things about yourself! :)

The Big C

July 7th

My mom found a lump around her pelvis.  They thought this was a swollen lymph node so she was treated with antibiotics for a 2 weeks and it got smaller but was still there. 

August 7th

She had surgery with Dr. Akainda to remove the lymph node.

August 13th

My mom went to meet with Dr. Akainda to have the stitches removed and find out the results of the biopsy.  The biopsy came back positive for Metastatic Squamous Cell Carcinoma.  Dr. Akainda knew that this had spread from somewhere.  He checked her rectum and there he found a mass that he immediately biopsied.

It was an hard morning.  I knew there was a chance that it could be cancer but I was hoping for other news.  Her appointment was at 10:30 and when I hadn't heard from her yet at 11:15 I was starting to get nervous.  Pretty soon my phone rang and it was Jan asking me to come down to exam room 1 because my mother wanted to see me.  I dropped everything at work and went flying out of the door.

I knew when I walked in that room I was about to get the most horrible news I could ever hear.  My mother was crying and Jan was crying.  I honestly felt like I had been delivered a punch from Mike Tyson right in my gut.  I just held her hand and cried.  I don't remember too much else.  I am just so mad that neither Quinn, Dad or I were bossy and just said we were going to go to that appointment with her whether she wanted us there or not.  I hate that she got that news alone.

August 16th

Mom and Dad went to Omaha to meet with Dr. Jon Thompson at UNMC.  They did scans and blood work.  Our biggest fear was that since we knew that it had spread into the lymph node system and that it is squamous cell carcinoma was that it had already spread to her esophagus and lungs.  Mom really likes Dr. Thompson, she said that he is soft spoken and kind.  When he met with her that morning he said, "So you mean to tell me that you were living a perfectly normal, happy and healthy life... and then they sent you here to see me."  That made her laugh a little.

August 17th.

Finally we got some good news!  The scans showed that it has spread into the lymph nodes around her pelvis, but that is hadn't spread to her lungs or esophagus..  Also the biopsy came back that the mass in her rectum is squamous cell carcinoma which is great news.  And the best news is that Dr. Thompson is giving her a 50% chance of survival!!  As my mom says, "My glass is half full." :)  Dr. Thompson will be presenting her case to the tumor board on Thursday and from there they will decide on a course of treatment.  We know this will involve chemo, radiation and possible surgery.


Anyone that knows me knows that my mom is absolutely my best friend.  I talk to her several times a day about anything and everything.  She is my rock, makes me laugh and helps me to keep moving the right direction.  I just don't think that mom's should be allowed to get cancer.  The woman that I have leaned on and depended on for comfort now needs to lean on me, and I will do anything I can for her.

It makes me smile how differently everyone reacts to things.  Dad, he is the deep thinker.  He has such a way of putting things that just make total sense.  My favorite example is how he feels about waiting to figure out what mom's treatment will be.  "I feel like my house is on fire and I have called 911....... the operator that answered said they would love to help but the fire truck is getting worked on in Neligh and they will get here when they can.  Until then I have to watch my house burn."  And me, well of course I am the cryer.  I am also trying to keep things light and even make a few jokes here and there.  At this point mom isn't sick from treatments and still has all of her hair so I figure we better not take things too serious for now as things are going to get very serious, very quickly.  So why not laugh a little. 

Cancer Joke:  What do you call a doctor that is always on the phone?  And On-CALLogist.  :)

My mom is so strong.  I know that she is going to win this battle.  It won't be easy or painless, but she is going to win.

Please send prayers, love and positive thoughts our way.

eHarmony Reject

** For the record this is the most embarrassing/funny thing that has ever happened to me.  Consider yourselves lucky.

I believe in a previous blog post I mentioned an eHarmony incident that I promised to one day tell you about.  You can check that out here.

My time frame is a little off as I have the memory of a goldfish but just bear with me, it doesn’t really matter when it happened the embarrassment lasts a lifetime.

It was the summer of 2006 I believe.  My relationship with my on again off again high school sweetheart was finally coming to a long and bitter end.  We were starting to acknowledge that we made each other crazy and miserable and it was time to walk away.  There was a lot of damage done that we were never going to recover from.  When I finally realized there was no fixing things, it was both a sense of relief and incredible loneliness.  Wow… I am getting way to serious over here. Eek!  Let’s jump past this mushy, gushy crap and get to the good stuff.

I was working for the University as a Conference Assistant at the time that all of this was happening and I had been stuck on all night shifts for quite a while, like 2 months.  The good thing about working the night shifts was that you got to be on your computer and could watch movies and TV which helped to keep you awake.  You also raked in the hours and the money because, let’s face it, who wants to work the night shift?  The bad part about it was that after so long without any sun, hours of infomercials, and general lack of sleep, you become quite delusional.  It is even worse when you are going through a break up. 

One night I was working the desk in Kauffman Hall where we had a grand total of two guests.  Pending any fires, pranks or break-ins I knew it was going to be a long and uneventful night.  Around 3 am, a commercial came on for eHarmony asking me if I was looking for love.  I may have been really tired but I swear this guy was talking right to me.  And I thought to myself “Yes!  I am looking for love!  And I would love your help finding it Mr. Man!”  He had me hook, line and sinker when he said it was a 3 week free trial.  So I got on my computer and spent an hour and a half filling out a personality profile.  Everything from religion to children to drinking to social activities.  It was actually quite exhausting.  I finally got done and I clicked submit and a little screen popped up that says “Thanks for starting your search for love with us!  We will send you an email in 30 minutes with your first 3 matches.”

Wooooo hoooo!  This was hands down the easiest thing I have ever done to meet guys, and it didn’t even involve me doing my hair or shaving my legs.  I started thinking about all of the wonderful guys that eHarmony was going to set me up!  I was of course assuming they would all be very good looking and very rich with beards.  Pretty soon my computer alerts me that I have mail.  At this point it is almost 5 am and I can hardly stand the excitement!  I open up the email and this is what it said…..

“We regret to inform you that you fit in to the 2% of users that we are unable to match with anyone.  We appreciate you starting your search for love with us.  Good luck."

I will wait for you to stop laughing…….

Are you done yet??.....

Its not that funny……

Ok, here was my reaction to that.

Um…. WHAT?!?!?!  You mean to tell me that not only did my boyfriend break up with me, but eHarmony won’t even give me a chance???  And then I said words like *&^%^& and *&^&%%$%^* and a little @%$%^.  And then I think I called my mom crying saying things like “The *sniffle* internet *sob* doesn’t *sniffle* even *blow my nose* love *wailing* meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.”

I of course didn’t tell anyone about this because I was so embarrassed that I had even tried to sign up for it let alone that I got rejected!  So I kept this one a safely guarded secret.  Until now.  You’re welcome readers... You.Are.Welcome.

I can laugh about it now.  In fact, I think that this is probably one of the most hysterical things that has ever happened to me.  And every time of one my dear friends suggest that I maybe try internet dating I always have to giggle.  No thank you, I will work this one out on my own.  Being single is a lot better than being rejected by email.

I am still left with some lingering questions.  Why couldn’t they just throw that 2% of us in a group to just sort it out ourselves??  What answer did I give that made me so unmatchable??   Did that survey reveal something about me that I need to be concerned about??  Am I a future Lifetime psycho movie??

Eh, who am I kidding.  I was obviously unmatchable because of my awesomeness…. J

How Kate Middleton Ruined My Life

How Kate Middleton Ruined My Life

There she is.  The girl who stole my thunder and didn’t even send me a Facebook apology.  Don’t get me wrong, I think that Kate it actually pretty awesome and I guess I am happy for her and Will.  It’s just that I had a pretty meticulous plan marrying a King in my adult life and now all of that is ruined.  Let me explain.

First, let me introduce you to the cast.

   
Prince William

                                                                                                                                Prince Harry
                                                                                                                                       

      

                                                                     My Future Baby

Now, I know that you are looking at the above pictures and thinking “But William is bald, why would you want to marry him??  Harry is obviously the cute one!”  And I completely agree with you, really I do!  I love everything about Harry.  He has red hair, he parties too much, and he is a total bad ass.  3 things I happen to love in a guy!  I have nothing in common with Will.  He is responsible and always says the right thing, we would definitely not get along.  But there is one thing that Will has that Harry doesn’t.  The Thrown.  And considering I am pretty selfish and my morals tend to sway to the lower end of the spectrum, Will is the obvious choice of the two.

Here is how I thought my life would go.

1.       Meet Will

2.       He obviously falls in love with my stunning personality and charm

3.       So does Harry J

4.       I harmlessly flirt my tushy off with Harry, but know if I want to own the thrown I need to marry will

5.       Marry Will

6.       Have a scandalous affair with Harry

7.       Get preggers.  It is Harry’s baby and not Will’s… *gasp*

8.       I live with the secret until Will is involved in a freak polo accident.  It is on his death bed that I confess the truth to him

9.       Will tells me that he knew I should have been with Harry all along, and when he dies he wants me to marry him and be happy.

10.   Will dies.

11.   Me and Harry begin planning our happily ever after.

12.   All of England loves Harry for stepping up to the plate to marry me and be a father to “Will’s” kid.  Yay us!

13.   After becoming Queen years later the scandal is discovered and I am beheaded.  This makes me very famous.

14.   Scarlett Johansson plays me in a movie.

So although I am happy that Kate and Will are together because they actually seem in love, I am just bummed that I have to come up an entirely different life plan.  *Sigh*  Maybe I should write for soap operas or choose something that wouldnt involve a beheading.

That Dreaded 'F' Word....

Furby.

There it is.  A Furby.  Sure, it seems harmless enough but boy are you wrong!

Here is some background on these disturbing little creatures.  The Furby first came out in the late 1990s.  I didn't like Furbies then either.  Something was just so...unnatural about the whole thing.  When you get them they only speak 'Furbish', which is a disturbing language in itself.  If you make it through that first day with your Furby without being frightened to death and taking that thing to the landfill to be buried deep in the earth, you will find that it starts to 'learn english' and it starts chatting with you.  Its ears and eyes also move.  Creepy.

Well now they came out with a Furby 2.0 that is even 'better' than the original.  There's new features such as LED eyes that will portray different emotions.  You can now tickle your Furby and he will laugh and giggle with you.  You can also get mad at your Furby and shake him upside down and it will make him dizzy and sad.  Creepy.

So what is my beef with this little monster?  Um.... ever see "Tales From The Crypt??  Let me explain.

When I was young, very young, I remember sneaking downstairs late one night because I wanted to watch this show called "Tales From The Crypt" mainly because my mom told me I couldn't.  So creeping down the stairs I go, turn the channel and this is the first thing I see...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am now completely paralyzed with fear.  I want to reach over to the remote and turn off the TV but I just can't because that skeleton thing might be right over the edge of the chair and he will eat my hand off when I go to grab it.

Is anyone else having a panic attack right now or is it just me?

Anyway, I don't remember all of the details of that dreaded episode, but I got the main points burned into my memory forever.  Basically this puppeteer guy was minding his own business when all of a sudden all of his puppets came to life and started to kill him and other people.  Give me a break guys, it was a lot more terrifying that I am making it seem.

After watching that I went off the deep end.  I made sure to tell my stuffed animals every night how pretty they all were and how much I loved them so that they wouldn't stab me with a 12 inch butcher knife as I slept.  I would try my hardest to rotate which stuffed animals got to sleep with me and the ones that I thought were most likely to kill me got to sleep with me every night.  I believe I finally asked my mom to get rid of them, not because I was outgrew them, but I was so tired of trying to stay awake to avoid a certain death, that I just couldn't take it anymore.

Then the Furby came.  Now if you are a kid who is already terrified of stuffed animals who don't  move, blink, or talk in their own weird language, this is the WORST possible thing that could be invented.  I never had one, never even had a desire to because I just knew that taking a bath one night that Furby would come to life and throw the blow dryer in the bathtub and electrocute me.  The friends that I knew that had a Furby, I simply avoided going over to their house as I would rather not see them hacked to pieces with a hatchet.

Hm... I was a weird kid, man.

I am 26 now and I should probably be over that fear of stuffed animals committing heinous murders, but just on the off chance that it might happen I definitely won't be purchasing a Furby 2.0.

Oh, and sorry Mom for sneaking downstairs and watching shows I shouldn't have watched and most likely causing you some sleepless nights.  I was worried my stuffed animals would get you too.  I am sure glad they didn't. :)

A Bucket List

The bucket list.  The things in life that you hope to accomplish before you, well, kick the bucket.  I love talking to people about their bucket lists.  It is amazing what you can find out about a person by knowing what they want to do with the time that they have left.  Some have a list a million miles long, others only a few.  If you don't have one, I highly recommend jotting a few things down somewhere. 

Don't worry folks, I am not going to sit here and list the 58 things I need to do before I meet my maker because I don't have 58.  I have 3.  3 tiny little things that I feel that I should experience at some point in the hopefully near future.

1.  Go see a movie at a drive in movie theater.  I know I only live 45 minutes from Neligh and that O'Neill used to have one when I was little, but I have never been to a drive in movie and I think it would be wonderful.  I know most of you are thinking 'well then get in the car and go', but here is where my shyness comes into play.  I hate doing things for the first time with no guidance.  Going to a drive in movie without someone who knows the ropes would probably cause a panic attack or at least a little nervous sweating.  Are there certain rules?  Is there a vehicle that is better than another to take?  Do they still use the little speaker boxes that you have to put in your window?  What if it is really hot and I have to sit in a hot car and pass out and die?  Well I guess I could at least cross 'going to a drive in theater' off my bucket list at that point :)  So if you or anyone you know would like to go to the movies, keep me in mind.

2.  Go on a roller coaster.  Again, I know I am weird.  Here's the deal with me never going on a roller coast, or really any carnival rides for that matter.  I was watching Oprah when I was very little with my mom one afternoon and the episode was about carnival rides gone wrong.  Well lets just say that a family of four that was killed because the roller coaster came off the tracks and flew through the air may have scared me a little bit.  I also don't like rides that drop so fast where my butt comes off the seat.  I need to have my bum firmly planted at all times.  At some point I am going to muster up all of my courage and go on a real roller coaster.  Thank goodness I don't live near an amusement park so that I am able to put this off for as long as I possibly can.

3.  Swim with great white sharks.  Nothing about swimming with sharks makes me nervous or scares me.  I would have done it by now but I want to go to South Africa, because rumor has it they have the baddest of the bad when it comes to great whites, and that costs a pretty penny.  I am going to do everything like a true shark bad ass would do.  I am going to go where the big sharks are, throw the chum overboard and wait for them to swarm, get in a cage and dive.  I hope they get mad and bump into the cage and stuff like that. Cant wait!

I would love to hear what all of you have on your buckets lists!